I am finding that all of the news about what Trump and his staff are doing is very discouraging. How in the world can this be happening? What can be done to get them under control? It is shocking how many people seem to think that the ends justify the means with regard to Trump’s wild and unpredictable actions. I get it that there are great injustices in America – many people are too poor, many have not enough options, and many are chronically discouraged (and depressed) because of their situation. I get it that they want things to change so they get a better “deal” out of life. However, I don’t understand how they can accept the attacks upon all that makes America great in the hopes that they might get a personal boost.

I think I understand where the poor and disadvantaged are coming from – I think they feel that they are at the bottom, so what is there to lose? I have a harder time understanding those that are doing well. They are being supported by the American Dream, the infrastructure and the good works of the government’s uses of taxes. They wouldn’t be doing so good if it weren’t for roads, schools, military protection, and all they rest that they unknowingly depend upon – and they should know better. I suppose they expect a huge financial boost from Trump’s self serving attacks on America. I was taught that once you have “enough” then you have enough – more doesn’t help make things better for you or those around you. The path to being truly “rich” is in knowing when you have enough.

What I don’t get is how so many are so willing to give up our hard won “rights” as contained in our Constitution. How can it be alright to kidnap innocent people (“innocent” means “until proven guilty” – remember?) and send them to out-of-the-country prisons? Why not take a bit of time and sort the good from the bad? What if the innocent ones include you or your children? Would that be OK then? How do you know it won’t be you unless you are certain that there are checks based upon the rule of law and moral behavior?

The list of terrible, impetuous and stupid actions and mistakes made by Trump and his minions fill the papers, books and television these days – but seemingly without changing the opinions of Trump’s “supporters” (cult members). His supporters are willing to accept unbridled bad behavior for the promise of achieving more money, more power, more imagined security.

All of this could make a person quite depressed. I find it totally discouraging, but wonder what will come from it in the future. I can envision many possible futures. Surely things will change, but whether those changes will be “good” or “bad” is difficult to know. I have a ray of hope that Trump’s excesses will finally make it clear how dangerous allowing leaders too much power can become. Maybe his actions will become a lesson for the world about how NOT to run a country.

I find that this situation has some interesting impacts on me. For one thing, I have pretty much stopped following the news. I avoid the news because I know that it is going to be filled with horror stories of what is happening to our government and economy, and that we are being pelted with evil and stupidity day in and day out. The best I can do is try to duck and cover until something changes in a way that I can influence. The current frenzied actions by the administration reminds me of an out of control dog fight. I don’t want to reach into the fight to try to stop it. The dogs are going to have to figure out how to stop it themselves, then perhaps we can help restore peace and rebuild the shambles of the Country left standing.

Instead of risking my life and limbs by reaching into the chaos, I have been wondering about what it all means. Why do I even care (about anything)? I started my pondering by getting as simple as I could by wondering what I am “supposed” to be doing, and it gets down to “not much.” From a biological point of view, my task is to find enough to eat, find suitable shelter and procreate. Actually, it is just the last item – the others are important to allow that to happen. It doesn’t matter if I am a gopher, or a spider, a persimmon tree or a person – all of us have the same “purpose.”

That small list is interesting in its own right, but seems rather useless because it doesn’t provide me with much guidance on how to have a “better” life. Once it became clear that I want to believe that there is more to life, I started thinking about what I do during my days, and is there something that I would rather be doing. I do a lot of really trivial and silly things. I mess around with my computer, I eat, bath, build things now and then, go for rides to see what I can see, “work” by doing things for others in exchange for money – I keep myself busy, but without much meaning. I can’t shake the feeling expressed in MacBeth’s description of life: “It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.” Perhaps. But is that the end of the story? I think not. Perhaps Shakespeare was correct that it is all just action and emotions with no purpose or end, but is there something more?

The question comes up of; “What is it that I want out of life?” Am I content to just respond to what comes up minute by minute? Getting up, taking a shower, fixing breakfast, watching the birds in the bushes, etc, etc, etc. Or is there something else that I want to do that gives direction to it all? If there isn’t any intrinsic purpose to life, perhaps I am free to create my own purpose – if there is no inherent goal, maybe I can just make a goal for the fun of making a goal – knowing that reaching it doesn’t make a bit of difference because it is just something I made up to for myself. Sometimes is seems that perhaps my personal goals are just to have fun and be thought of as a good guy. Maybe that is all there is.

While these really simple goals seem plausible, my artist girlfriend pointed out that I was missing “love” in my discussion. Humph! ….. Love, what’s love got to do with it? Maybe the Beatles had something to say about that with their song “All you need is love.” Maybe there is something here that I should consider in my thoughts on the meaning of life.

I am wondering about a kind of love that is different from romantic love or love of a thing or a love of an experience. I am thinking that perhaps there is something of importance concerning what might be termed “universal love.” As I think back upon my life I realize that there have been a few times when I came face-to-face with an overwhelming feeling of “connectiveness.” This is a feeling of being simultaneously totally connected with everything on earth, and at the same time being totally isolated as just myself but in an extremely comfortable and “meaningful” way. Almost melancholy, but in a sort of “spacey,” comfortable, floating way. Not sad, but not exactly happy either – closer to quiet euphoria. Maybe it is a bit like a single cell in my body would feel if it could feel such things. I am a critical part of the whole, and at the same time an isolated and not so important single entity. It is one and the same, both totally connected but not really important. I have had experiences where that seems correct. (No, not when high on drugs – just high on nature)

I find I can imagine myself in that place of being separately connected just by stopping to “smell the roses,” or as one author put it, “To see the lights in the trees.” Many artists strive to communicate and demonstrate this feeling by their works. Authors do the same. I try to share that experience, but am usually far from being on target. The perspective I am talking about demands compassion, empathy and reaching out to help. It is my experience that you can’t experience this state of mind without those attributes, and the experience naturally engenders those kinds of “loving” feelings.

So… perhaps my “goal” or “purpose” for my life is to be more open to this experience, and then attempt to do as artists do in trying to share the beauty. If I share this with others it is impossible to also judge them negatively because that is the entire point – we (every animal, plant, other things) are all one and the same. We are part of the big life on earth. Maybe the Beatles got it right – the path to world peace and harmony with nature is “all you need is love” – a rather mystical and gossamer feeling, but one that cannot be denied once experienced. Maybe a worthwhile goal is to find that feeling as share it when appropriate.